Golabutron 3000
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[Golabutron 3000] Club Golabutron

Commentary

This strip was originally published in the G3K blog back in 2002. From that original post:

Hey Stop! Read the comic first! Then skip the rant below!
 
I must be the most naive dweeb in the world. I read in my KQED magazine a couple weeks ago that HMOs are actually trying to purchase Club Card data from Safeway and other stores... and I was almost surprised! I knew it was a possibility, but I always thought that it was too evil, even for an insurance company to try. And I should have known better, being the son of an insurance agent.
 
Insurance companies hate one thing above all else: people who will actually file a claim some day. Their perfect business model is to have a huge pool of customers paying premiums for insurance they'll never need because they represent the peak of human perfection.
 
There is a solid argument that club card data can be correlated to health risk. It can hint at "high-risk" behaviors like heavy drinking, smoking, junk food binging, etc. Never mind all of the reasons why this data proves nothing... if there is a statistical correlation it will be used.
 
Club cards are scary all around, but usually not in ways that can affect your life as much as this HMO business. Usually it just means you get more junk mail, and eventually your shopping cart will bug you when it's time to swap the sour milk at the back of the fridge for a fresh carton. I can live with all of that because it doesn't cost me. It does bug me that before long, the only way anybody will be able to afford food is to sign up for one of these things. Luckily, good ol' laissez faire will someday lead to the mind-boggling innovation of clubless grocery stores, where the prices are low for everybody who comes in and wants to spend money there. I can't wait...
 
For now, of course, the only solution is to subvert the system as much as possible. Use fake names, or avoid using the cards for as long as that is an option. But I would argue against trading cards with a friend, lest you pay for their bad habits later on.
 
Anyway, rant terminated.

Oh boy, has the discourse around both health insurance and food prices exploded since I originally drew this strip. I don't think the HMO connection has materialized to the extent I feared, but club cards are still mainly a necessary evil for anyone who doesn't want to pay a steep premium for the privilege of not being tracked.

Tropes

#Politics

Transcript

PANEL 1 (GOLABUTRON spots a small plastic card on the ground while walking down a street.) GOLABUTRON: What a day! So much evil, so little time! Say, what have we here..?

PANEL 2 (GOLABUTRON picks up the card and examines it up close.) GOLABUTRON: Why, it's one of those grocery-store club cards that claim to offer bargains at the same old price! It's hard to top that level of evil, but I must try...

PANEL 3 (GOLABUTRON presents the card to a cashier while checking out a cart overflowing with unhealthy food and drink products.) CAPTION: Later... GOLABUTRON: Just wait until this guy's HMO gets ahold of the receipt for THIS purchase! BWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH! Hey, could you be a dear and toss a pack of Marlboros in there too?