TITLE The Bastich By Hart
PANEL 1 (BASTICH and HACKER-LAD are exhausted as they stand in front of a row of LAB ZOMBIES sitting at their workstations.) BASTICH: Ugh... at last... after endless hardship and lasting injury, we've finally corralled these Lab Zombies back into the Computer Lab where they belong... HACKER-LAD: Huff-- Yeah, lets lock 'em up and toss the key!
PANEL 2 (BASTICH and HACKER-LAD speak to each other.) HACKER-LAD: Not that they'd notice... BASTICH: Nah, we can't. These kids are supposed to be the next generation of computer geniuses. Without them, who will be the next Bill Gates? HACKER-LAD: Uh...
PANEL 3 (Shortly, BASTICH holds up a wedge-shaped doorstop as HACKER-LAD blocks a closed door labeled "COMPUTER LAB 136".) BASTICH: Do you think the doorstop will hold them in until can change the door lock..? HACKER-LAD: As long as the Internet connection holds up... but hurry!
PANEL 4 (BASTICH rides in the back seat while FAITH drives him and HACKER-LAD home.) CAPTION: Later... BASTICH: Thanks for picking us up, Faith! FAITH: Well, as much as I'd have loved to see the two of you limping home... Anyway, how're the Zombies doing?
PANEL 5 (BASTICH leans wistfully back in the seat.) BASTICH: Y'know Faith, at first, I found their intense lack of hygiene and social graces uh, well, repulsive... but after a while, they grew on me. In fact, I think they're kinda cute! I wanted to take one of them home with me and give it its own little lab to play in and--
PANEL 6 (FAITH glares over her shoulder at BASTICH while HACKER-LAD sits in the front passenger seat.) FAITH: OH NO YOU DON'T! The last time THAT happened we wound up getting stuck with HACKER-LAD over there..! HACKER-LAD: Hey! I've gotten much better since then! I haven't even recompiled my Linux Kernel in three days! FAITH: Uh-huh.
CREDITS Bastich (c) 1997 Joshua Adam Hart
Commentary
At last, the Helpdesk Lab Zombies sub-thread concludes!
This one is broken up into two 3-panel gags for extra value-add.
The first is a jab at Bill Gates who many of us thought was the worst nerd on the planet at the time. Little did we know...
The second is a little fun at Hacker-Lad's expense, and a bit of backstory for the gang. Do you really believe he hasn't recompiled the kernel in three whole days? Maybe he lost track of time trolling some NetBSD newsgroup.