TITLE The Bastich By Hart
PANEL 1 (HACKER-LAD approaches BASTICH.) HACKER-LAD: Hiya, 'Stich! BASTICH: Hi HL...thanks for coming on such short notice... HACKER-LAD: No problem. Now, where are these Lab Zombies you're supposed to be babysitting?
PANEL 2 (BASTICH and HACKER-LAD are in the background as a group of LAB ZOMBIES gather around a soda machine. One zombie is filling a paper cup with soda.) BASTICH: Over there, by the fountain drinks. They seem a bit agitated... HACKER-LAD: Whoa... It's a good thing you called me when you did. This could be serious. BASTICH: Well, what's the problem?
PANEL 3 (HACKER-LAD holds up a paper cup labeled "CHOKE".) HACKER-LAD: THIS is the problem..! Everybody knows that the wild Lab Zombie thrives on Mountain Dew and Jolt Cola! This caffeine-deficient concoction will never do...
PANEL 4 (A LAB ZOMBIE gulps down a cup of Mountain Dew as HACKER-LAD turns toward BASTICH.) HACKER-LAD: Here you go, fella... Don't let them drink TOO much, though. We don't want a repeat of the Geek Tech Expo '96 fiasco all over again... BASTICH: Speaking of which, I heard the Microsoft rep's skin graft is healing well... HACKER-LAD: Oh...
PANEL 5 (HACKER-LAD raises an index finger to make one last point to BASTICH.) HACKER-LAD: One More thing before I leave... BASTICH: Yeah.. ? HACKER-LAD: Be sure to set your pager on "Vibrate" mode. BASTICH: What for? HACKER-LAD: Well, assuming the Sysops page you when the systems are fixed, the beep could set off a-- SFX: BEEP BEEP
PANEL 6 (Suddenly, HACKER-LAD and BASTICH are overrun by a mob of excited LAB ZOMBIES rushing over them.) HACKER-LAD: ZOMBIE STAMPEDE! ZOMBIE 1: System... back up? ZOMBIE 2: Go... we... must! HACKER-LAD: Well, it was nice knowin' ya...
CREDITS Bastich (c) 1997 Joshua Adam Hart
Commentary
The Helpdesk Lab Zombies sub-thread continues!
Computer nerds really did seem to have a preference for highly-caffeinated and sugar-filled drinks like Mountain Dew and Jolt Cola. I know I sure did.
Hacker-Lad doesn't seem too happy that the Microsoft rep is recovering, which seems on-point for him.
As yet another sign of the times, yup pagers were still a thing in 1997.